I could name about 847264 things that scared me this year, but if I had to highlight one thing, it would be starting this business. This has been one of my goals that I kept in the back of my head because I knew that if I ever said it out loud, it would make it a "real" goal. Which meant I would have to keep myself accountable to making sure it actually came to life. So, I did what I did best, which was write it off and tell myself it was impossible.
However, the idea kept coming back whenever life got stressful because this is when I would start picking up my camera again. Except I never wanted to take the leap into actually launching a business because it included a lot of steps that I was just too afraid of.
First I would have to research how to market and I just don't have time for that.
In order to research how to run a business, it would eat up all my free time since I already work 48 hours a week at my "real job".
But if I worked less hours at work, we wouldn't be able to put as much into savings.
And I can't even think about quitting my job because THE KIDS NEED ME (ha!).
It will take too long for me to start earning a profit.
And I definitely can't put myself out there because no one even wants the kinds of photos I take; everyone wants happy smiling poses.
Then after having about one million second thoughts and countless midlife crisis conversations with Pete and a few close friends, they all encouraged me to jump into it. Boy was it scary. I started working on a website, did more shoots, joined all the Facebook groups I could find, listened to podcasts in my sleep, and loved every second of that stress. The dream started to get more and more real and then I took a deep breath and announced it to the world. That was scary. Why? Because now, other people had the power to say no to me. Other people had the power to reject my ideas, my thoughts, my creative outlet. I wasn't my only critic anymore.
Well, here I am, 6 months after that launch, and guess what-- I survived! I tried different things, failed a lot, and am still learning each day. I've had lots of encouragement from people who've had my back from the pre-beginnings, and a lot from people who just found out about me. I've worked with some amazing clients, educated them about the importance of real memories and tangible prints, and shared my passion with the world. Heck, I even made a profit this year, which I didn't think would happen!. I quit my full-time job a month ago, which was a scary decision in and of itself, and haven't gone crazy like I thought I would, because surprise: Starting a business usually means working more than 40 hours a week, even if you make your own schedule!
Anyway, all of this was to say, don't let the scary dreams push you away from doing what you want. If you never try it, you'll never know. Even to this day, this dream still scares me. What if people lose interest? What if I lose motivation and no one tells me to get back on track? What if people think I'm too expensive? Not expensive enough?
I am as scared as ever, but also as happy as ever. Don't let "what it"s talk you out of something, because that could end up being the thing you're most proud of.
Here's your homework for 2020:
Remember that scary thing you've been thinking about doing? DO IT.
December 31, 2019
Karen Wituszynski Photography
Dover NH / Portsmouth NH / Rollinsford NH
Seacoast New Hampshire and Maine